Top Cat

Category: By bloodhound94
Yes, he is Cat-Man. The next-gen superhero. He can do the unthinkable. He can achieve the unachievable. He can count to infinity. He will solve all your problems.

Catman! Save me!

What seems to be the problem, oh damsel in distress?

I'm not a damsel, dumbass. I'm a guy.

Right. Now what seems to be the problem?

Oh Catman, I have been kidnapped!

Do not fear! Where exactly are you?

Baghdad.

Too late.

WTF? You're supposed to be a goddamn superhero.

Well yeah, but all the flights to Baghdad are full. Next!!

Catman, I have a wife and five kids, no job and no money.

Well, you should get some then.

Oh really? You're a genius!

Problem solved!!

No wai-

NEXT!!

Hey Catman, you have psychic abilities right?

Why yes, yes I do.

Well yesterday I met a man in the supermarket and he was dashing!! He was so cute!!

Cuter than me? Do not worry. Consider him beaten up.

NO!!

Murdered.

NO!!

Fucked.

NO!! STOP!! The problem is, I can't remember his name!! Can you use your inner eye to tell me his name?

Hmmm.. Is it James?

No.

Is it Matt?

No.

Is it Jeremy?

No.

Is it Bryan?

No.

Is it Jackie Chan?

He's not Chinese!

Hmmm.. Now this is a tough one. Is it Sir Eskabanoronobishikalimashiskhabob?

. . . What?

Sorry, that was the name of a guy I met in Aregentina.

Look, can you help me or not?

Sure, just 8387238409 names to go!

DO YOU HAVE PSYCHIC POWERS OR NOT?!!

Ask me later. Is the name Bob?

Maybe, I dont-

Wait, you said maybe.

It's not a sure answer!!

That's good enough for me!! NEXT!!

I hope this demonstration of Catman's great abilities satisfies you. Got any problems just email imtopcat@gmail.com.
Meow.

Now forward this to all and help Catman on his path to world domination! ^___^