Top Cat

Category: By bloodhound94
Yes, he is Cat-Man. The next-gen superhero. He can do the unthinkable. He can achieve the unachievable. He can count to infinity. He will solve all your problems.

Catman! Save me!

What seems to be the problem, oh damsel in distress?

I'm not a damsel, dumbass. I'm a guy.

Right. Now what seems to be the problem?

Oh Catman, I have been kidnapped!

Do not fear! Where exactly are you?


Too late.

WTF? You're supposed to be a goddamn superhero.

Well yeah, but all the flights to Baghdad are full. Next!!

Catman, I have a wife and five kids, no job and no money.

Well, you should get some then.

Oh really? You're a genius!

Problem solved!!

No wai-


Hey Catman, you have psychic abilities right?

Why yes, yes I do.

Well yesterday I met a man in the supermarket and he was dashing!! He was so cute!!

Cuter than me? Do not worry. Consider him beaten up.





NO!! STOP!! The problem is, I can't remember his name!! Can you use your inner eye to tell me his name?

Hmmm.. Is it James?


Is it Matt?


Is it Jeremy?


Is it Bryan?


Is it Jackie Chan?

He's not Chinese!

Hmmm.. Now this is a tough one. Is it Sir Eskabanoronobishikalimashiskhabob?

. . . What?

Sorry, that was the name of a guy I met in Aregentina.

Look, can you help me or not?

Sure, just 8387238409 names to go!


Ask me later. Is the name Bob?

Maybe, I dont-

Wait, you said maybe.

It's not a sure answer!!

That's good enough for me!! NEXT!!

I hope this demonstration of Catman's great abilities satisfies you. Got any problems just email

Now forward this to all and help Catman on his path to world domination! ^___^

The Real MCs

Category: By bloodhound94
This post is strictly for people who appreciate rap and hip-hop music. The other orthodox rockers and metal-heads can ignore this post and spend your valuable time elsewhere. Arrite, now folks I'm sick of people judging the genre rap. Everyone out there who has not heard a single rap song assumes the whole genre is about blood, violence, money, drugs and sex. Well my answer is screw em all. Forget the perverts. Forget 50 Cent. Forget Esham. Forget Snoop Dogg. They shot to fame because of a few brilliant songs and some really sick beats and really "entertaining" videos. Well let me introduce you to some MCs who you might have or never have heard of, and these guys can rap the shit out of 50 and Snoop.

1. Cunnin'lynguists:

The Cunnin'lynguists is one of my favourite rap groups, and like the name suggests, they can really rap. Their beats aren't that addictive but their wordplay is deadly. Their words are sublime, plenty of metaphors you would never think of. The Cunnin'lynguists is a Southern rap group - a trio of three rappers -
Kno (short for Kno Mercy), Deacon the Villain and Natti. Their first album was Will Rap For Food, considered their weakest album, but I say it's the most original. You would not except these songs from a Southern rap group. The album has both funny raps, battle types and narratives. The other killer albums are Dirty Acre and A Piece of Strange.
Best Tracks: 616 Rewind, Mic Like A Memory, Half-Animal, Mindstate, The Gates, Seasons, America Loves Gangstas, Dying Nation, Family Ties

2. Common
This guy here, is a REAL Master of ceremonies. He has it all - beat, wordplay, consistency. He is a seriously underrated rapper and do not overlook him, he is one of the best rappers I've listened to. His songs are totally inspiring and he has contributed a lot to the genre over the years with his seven killer albums, and well probably is a good reason for the rise of soul-rap.
Best Tracks: Chapter 13 (Rich Man Vs Poor Man), The Light, Nag Champa, G.O.D., The 6th Sense, A Song For Assata, Retrospect For Life, I Used To Love H.E.R

3. Wu-Tang Clan
The Wu-Tang Clan! They shouldn't be here in this list, but there's a reason. They were once legends. Now they're well..Dead. Not literally but nobody knows who the Wu-Banga's are. The most noted rapper in the pack is undoubtedly the one and only Ghostface Killah, and the others: RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta Killa, Cappadonna. They were the kings in the Golden Era of rap back in 1990s, but now their legacy is dead. However, you gotta give em a shot.
Best Tracks: Method Man, Can It All Be So Simple, C.R.E.A.M., It's Yours, I'll Be There For You, Being The Pain, Chez Chez La Ghost, Apollo Kids, Ice Cream, Incarcerated Scarfaces

4. Beastie Boys
Ah, the Beastie Boys! A trio of white rappers - Mike D, MCA and Adrock. They were also friggin kings in the genre eons ago, now well.. You know the word. D-E-A-D. They began as a punk-rock band and slowly shifted to rapcore. They are the most unique MCs, and Mike D's rhymes are awesome and the lyrics are so damn catchy whether the make sense or not with kick-ass punches like "I like my sugar with coffee and cream"
Best Tracks: Intergalactic, Three MCs And One DJ, Sabotage, Brass Monkey, Ch-Check It Out, Pass The Mic, Crawlspace

Heh. Well that's it for now folks. This is Azeron or Two Degree, signin off.


Category: By bloodhound94

Disaster movies are getting scarily and easily predictable these days. Most disaster movies are more like a not-so-funny spoof film and well, in every disaster movie, there's this big disaster - be it a volcano (Dante's Peak), earthquakes (Epoch), meteors (Armageddon) or even giant bees (Killer Bees) and finally - doomsday films - Independence Day and 2012.
Arrite, now let's talk about 2012. Yeah, big budget movie, directed by Roland Emmerich, the King of Disaster movies and casting John Cusack. Now I won't say the movie is an overhyped pile of bull-crap, it's got mind-blowing, bottle-poppin special effects that'll blow your head off. That's the awesome part about the movie. The other boring part is the easily predictable storyline. As the name suggests, the world has an expiry date and it lasts till 2012, and we all know everyone tries to make it through safely and as usual the protagonist survives at the end. Why couldn't it have been a little different? Take Knowing for instance, good start, bad finish but it made perfect sense. The world is going to end, every soul on earth is a goner except the kid who goes on holiday with the celestial beings. 2012 is a movie which has all sorts of disasters - earthquakes, volcanoes and tsunamis, and well - it's like the makers don't care about anything but the effects and the effort was not wasted.. As in any other disaster film, the protagonist Jack Curtis tries to ride smooth with his wife, while the world around him is falling apart. Only thing different here is that the President isn't an old arrogant gas-bag and he's all noble and "good" and is willing to die with his folk. Overall, the movie is all "Bang", "Boom", "Pow"s , a few smooches and more "Bang"s, funny part is that the heroes escape from each disaster without a scratch. Are you kidding me? Basically, the makers want to show off the special effects, they have a small story - 2012, and they magically add a earthquake here, and oh, a tsunami there whenever they're bored, with ease. But the special effects are enough to blow your head off.
So 2012, made it through with it's special effects. Upcoming disaster movies will have to do something different to save the genre. Come on, people!! It's already half-dead!!


Fear the Cards

Category: , By bloodhound94
There's this new "Card" system in my school because apparently, our school's discipline amounts to..uh..nil. So, meet the cards.
First we have the yellow card. (I know, they're ripping off football) You get a yellow card if you dont do your homework thrice in a row, come late to school trice, play with chalk, disturb somebody, litter in the classroom, not coming in proper uniform thrice, having long hair, not bringing your hand book, not tucking in your shirt, being "unruly", misbehaving, not submitting your notebooks on time and the list goes on and on and on.
Next we have the pink card. Get three yellow cards and you get a pink card. People are eligible to get a pink card if they bring cellphones to school, show disrespect to teachers, come to school in two-wheelers, deface school property (bastards dont understand that graffiti is an ART!!), beating up people, stealing etc.
The final card is the red card. Get a red card and you're out of the school. For good. Genius? Crazy? You decide!! This system is driving me NUTS!! Nuts, I tell ya, NUTS!! I mean what would the poor gangstars do? :P They're treating us like kindergarten kids, and this "card system" is supposed to scare us. Well its quite the opposite. People who recieve a card are hailed heroes and they take much more pride in getting one of these gay cards than a hard won certificate!! So the card system is backfiring at the school and noone cares about it and gangstars carry on their usual business of beating up wimps :) Goddamn school XD

Chat Language for Dummies - by a dummy

Category: , By bloodhound94
You dont know how desperate the grown-ups of our modern world are to learn the lingo we, that is to say - teenagers, use. They do not realize their position, the current situation! The average Indian parent doesn't know half the things his/her boy does at school. At home, he does his homework and does his chores and plays the good boy role, at school he's a different person. It's not totally bad, the boy isn't an evil criminal, ofcourse it's all a part of growing up and I dont blame the parents for wanting to keep a close watch. Which brings us to social networking websites. Stalking the boy on Facebook. Some parents join with a different purpose - trying to become younger. Dont believe me? Check this out for solid proof:
See how embarrassing that is? It's best they just stick to their age group online. They want to learn the chat language, that's fine. But they don't know how awkward they're making themselves look using "LOL" and "ROFL" at the age of forty!
Last week I came across an article in The Hindu titled, How To Use The Teen Lingo.
As soon as I saw the title I was like "WTF!!" This is ridiculous!! I mean .. Come ON!!
I read the article, half-annoyed and half-disgusted. Apparently, everybody uses "LOL" to show that they're kool (apparently you're cool if you replace the "C"s with "K"s), and the only adjective we use is "bling" (Who the hell told you that? O_o), and we refer to all guys as "dudes" and girls as "babes".
The last line of the paragraph is supposed to be an example of how you talk online. Standing JOKE!! Let me recite it one more time before laughing my arse off.
Hey, isnt tat the dude fm d dance thingie we went to lst week? He snt wid that bling babe anymore. Cool no? lolzzzz!!
*Evil laugh* Dont worry, wannabe-youngsters! You are never gonna get younger! The wrinkles on your face and the fungus between yer toes will haunt you for the rest of yer life! Muhahaha! Just kidding. Ahem. That's it for now, until next time, this is Azeron signin off.

Michael Jackson - He Who Must Not Me Named?

Category: , By bloodhound94
Am I am blind or does Michael Jackson really resemble Lord Voldemort? O_o
Correct me if I am wrong, and a blind jackass.


The Bad News

Category: , By bloodhound94
Hello my name is Azeron and I'm bringin you your mornin news.
*Top story*
Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus still fightin over a pair of shoes
Chuck Norris wanted to get back his fame, jumped from a plane, forgot his parachute.
The Big Show started his fifty-fifth diet again livin off parrot food and barracuda.

Google expanded its search again, to reel in a few more tons of cash.
You can now search for your car keys in your ex's house or the pockets of your pants.
How much ever he tried, Tom Hanks never learned to dance
One pretty gal is all it takes to separate the boys from the gents.

Dont look at a person's face and judge his real intelligence
How much ever you pled and begged the CEO never gave you another chance
The racist bastard only cares about himself, the likes of him'll NEVAR understand
The world has a lotta things but it never had an honest man.

Paris Hilton got an IQ of 2, that rich bitch she doesnt care!
Why would she care? She gets all she wants as long as she gets her share!
The world is totally screwed up, will self-destruct, I know the world aint fair!
Now look at that, she dont even know how to drive but just got another Camaro.

Children in Zambia are still starving, while yall eat in Burger King
Dunno what to do with all that cash, J-Lopez, please dont try to sing..
Youre only embarrassing yourself beside your looks and your wealth
The Qaeda fags are so dumb they burn their arses with gasoline

Crazy Frog is a shameless retard but the people still fell for it
He runs all over butt-naked but aint as screwed up as Rip Taylor is
If your so intelligent, answer this: Who'll win? Chuck Norris or a Tyrannosaurus?
Bet the dinosaur'll be dead in 2 seconds if it comes face to face with Chuck Norris

He knows smokin kills him but SRK wont stop, he just wants to get high
Using petty excuses like a recluse like global warming is a lie
Indian movies so crappy these days, so pathetic they make us want to cry!
He must have seen one of those bastards dance, thats why MJ left without sayin goodbye.

How did five aliens get into the Taj? (I'm talkin about the 26/11 incident)
Ajmal Kasab was the only one alive and he tried to play all innocent
The Goverment tries to act all smart, "Please dont try to judge our intelligence"
The last thing this country needs is a party of uneducated politicians.

Sources reveal that Adolf Hitler had a thousand slaves and he worked em to the bone.
Thirty-eight people died today with anonymous high frequency calls on the telephone
The farmers work all day and are half starved but the bank still wont give the loan.
Get a cheque from George Bush, oh wait- he's too busy partyin in DJ Zone..

They say Osama became a terrorist because he couldn't afford deodorant
He never took a shower in his life, pee-yoo somebody give him a breath mint
He dont know about the alphabet or the hundred and eighteenth element
Who the HELL can predict the average Al Qaeda terrorist's demands?

See, I'm wicked quick like lightnin, I'm risin faster than the price of gas
I'm filled with fury, filled with grief, wanna kick those Nazis ass
Reports say Jay Leno burped and a UFO flew out of his oesophagus
Paris Hilton took a couple of beers and became hella famous in Las Vegas
*Hope you know what I mean ;)*

However they plead and begged, Jack the Ripper would not stop
Mr. Nameless made another flick and shamelessly made his hundred and sixty-sixth flop!
Hulk Hogan is so broke that he's gonna start his own coffee shop
A priest in a local church last night went berserk shouted "WTF!!"

The world is filled with dishonesty, murder and madness!
The new generation do things their way, wont listen to what Mom and Dad says
Act according to your instincts, dont try to be what yer not
Thus we come to the end of "The Bad News", this is your boy Azeron signin off.